6 weeks : I love you, I love you, I love you.
6 months : Of course I love you.
6 years : GOD! If I didn’t love you, then why did I marry you?

Back from Work

6 weeks: Honey, I’m home!
6 months: I’m back!
6 years: What’s for dinner?

Gifts

6 weeks: Honey, I really hope you like the ring.
6 months: I bought a new painting for the living room.
6 years: Here’s the money. Buy yourself something.

Phone Ringing

6 weeks: Baby, somebody wants you on the phone.
6 months: Here, it’s for you.
6 years : PHONE: ring ring, ring ring.

Cooking

6 weeks: I never knew food could taste so good!
6 months: What are we having for dinner tonight?
6 years: AGAIN!

Apology

6 weeks: Honey muffin, don’t worry, Ill never hold it against you.
6 months: Don’t do it again.
6 years: What’s not to understand about what I just said?

New Dress

6 weeks: Oh my God, you look like an angel in that dress.
6 months: You bought a new dress.
6 years: How much did THAT cost?

Planning for Vacations

6 weeks: How does 2 weeks in Vienna or anywhere you want sound?
6 months: What’s so bad about visiting my mum and dad?
6 years: Travel? What’s so bad about staying home?

TV

6 weeks: Baby, what would you like us to watch tonight?
6 months: I like this movie.
6 years: I’m going to watch Eurosport, if you’re not in the mood, go to bed, I can stay up by myself …

They never last enough

Bananas

They get softer once they age

Time

You can’t do anything to change it

Coffee

The best men are warm, hard and keep you up all night.

Computers

Hard to understand and constantly running on low memory.

Advertising

Never trust a word they say

Popcorn

They satisfy you but never last to long

Snow

You never know when they’re coming, how many inches and how long it lasts.

Xerox

They help at reproduction.

Here are some ties that can’t be worn as part of a uniform

Fashion and Novelty Ties

The term “chastity belt” is also used metaphorically in modern English to imply over protectiveness. The term carries a derisive connotation and may also imply that the subject is antiquated, or is cumbersome, or provides unnecessary or unwanted protection.

Here are some interesting chastity belts

Diphallia, penile duplication (PD), diphallic terata, or diphallasparatus, is a medical condition in which a male infant is born with two penes. This is an extremely rare disorder with only approximately 1000 cases of diphallia recorded since the first, reported by Johannes Jacob Wecker in 1609. Its occurrence is one in 5.5 million men in the United States.

When diphallia is present, it is usually accompanied by other congenital anomalies such as renal, vertebral, hindgut or anorectal duplication. There is also a higher risk of spina bifida. Infants born with PD and its related conditions have a higher death rate from various infections associated with their more complex renal or colorectal systems.

It is thought diphallia occurs in the fetus between the 23rd and 25th days of gestation when an injury, chemical stress, or malfunctioning homeobox genes hamper proper function of the caudal cell mass of the fetal mesoderm as the urogenital sinus separates from the genital tubercle and rectum to form the penis.

Characteristics

• # Those in possession of a diphallus tend to be sterile, due to either congenital defects or difficulties in application.
• # Urine may be passed by both penises, by only one, or through some other aperture in the perineum.
• # A range of duplication types have been seen, ranging from organs that fissure into two, to the presence of two distinct penes positioned at some distance from each other.
• # Most diphalluses lie side by side and are of equal size, but they can be seated atop one another, with one distinctly larger than the other.

This rare condition has been documented in pigs and other mammals.
Diphallia is a medical condition and should not be confused with genital bisection, which is an elective procedure which involves the splitting of the penis.

Getting back to our story: a german who persuaded doctors to give him a second penis has lost his wife after he showed her the result.

Biker Michael Gruber, 40, lost his original penis in a motorbike accident and doctors built him a second one using a mixture of skin, bone and other tissues from his own body.

The penis worked so well that he was even able to father a child with his wife Bianca, 25, and their son Etienne was born last year.

But Gruber was still not happy and asked doctors to repeat the operation and build him a better organ, to which they agreed.

However, before removing the first penis doctors said they needed to make sure the new tissue transplant was a success, and had to leave the first penis in place.

Dr Markus Kuentscher, a plastic surgeon at Berlin’s Accident Hospital, said: “We left the old one attached until the new one is properly supplied with blood.”

But when Gruber showed his wife his double penis, she went home, packed her bags and left.

From his hospital bed he said: “I’ve got two penises but no wife, but I am hoping when I get rid of one of the penises I will get her back.”

His testicles are intact and will be connected to what is actually his third penis when doctors are happy the operation was a success.

His story was this week featured on a German TV documentary called The Last Penis Operation.

I am not a photographer or an artist, I just make images … I shoot very average or even bad photos that I try to improve thanks to PhotoShop …

And he really does a great job, doesn’t he ?

I have to say I was really amazed when I first accessed it. I saw that at the bottom of the page that there are 533 members in Braila city. Registering with the website was easy as hell. They flash thingy helped me through the process.

I wish I could meet that blonde from the picture that says I want to meet A Woman .
What I liked by now was that the website interacted with me. I really like that talking woman.
After you login you’ll see that you have the ability to video chat with online members which is really cool cause now you’ll surely know that the person you’re talking with is the one in the photos from his/her profile but (yes there is a but) you have to upgrade your account in order to video chat with other members.

You can also add photos and videos of yourself and of course search for matches from your city or a close enough area.

So if you’ve been single for a while, why not give it a shot with Passion Search ? Nobody knows where true love can come from

Now I want to tell you that they just got new frames. Yep, that’s right. Their huge selection of frames just got bigger. Frames come with single vision lens, sunsensor (potochromic) lens, tinted sunglasses lens, bifocal lens and progressive lens.
Here’s a frame I really like:

I know you must be wondering right now how much ? Well … it’s only $39.95.

Don’t be fooled thinking that if the price is low the quality is bad. Their secret is that they don’t use a middleman. The products go directly to the consumers.
Here’s a small excerpt:

Clark has ordered a pair and so have others on the staff and the customer service and the products have been fantastic. Clark finally got his in and he has not had any problems with them.

So, how about changing your look a bit ? Go ahead and see which frame you like the most and buy it.
If you don’t use eyeglasses then buy a gift for a friend who does. It’s nice to give yourself or to a friend a gift from time to time.

HAVING A THIN BIT OF WOOD

in the shed, solely to stir paint with. If you don’t have one of these, get one asap. And some paint to stir. The piece of wood must always have paint to about halfway up it from the last time you used it.

KNOWING WHICH SCREWDRIVER IS WHICH

“A Phillips? For that? Are you mad?” And intuitively knowing which way to turn when using a screwdriver, wrench or any other tool.

HAVING EARNED THAT PINT

Since the dawn of time, men have toiled in the fields in blistering heat. Why? So, when it’s over we can stand there in silence, surveying our work with one hand resting on the beer gut while the other nurses a foaming jug of ale. Aaaah.

OPENING JARS

She’s struggling. You take it from her hands, open it effortlessly and pretend she loosened it for you. She didn’t. Jars are men’s work.

CALLING SOMEONE ‘SON’

Especially policemen but even saying it to kids makes you the man. Or “boy”, that works too.

SHARPENING A PENCIL WITH A STANLEY KNIFE

Blunt, is it? Hand it here love. No, I don’t need a sharpener, I’ve got a knife…

GOING TO THE TIP

A manly act which combines driving, lifting and – as you thrillingly drop your rubbish into another huge pile of other rubbish – noisy destruction.

DRINKING UP

Specifically, rising from the table, slinging your coat on and downing two thirds of a pint in one fluid movement. Then nodding towards the door, saying, “Let’s go” and striding out while everyone else struggles to catch up with you. You’re hard.

HAVING A HANGOVER AND THICK STUBBLE

When birds have been partying they just whinge. You on the other hand have physical evidence of your hardness, sprouting from your face. “Big night?” Grr, what does it look like.

HAVING A SCAR

Ideally it’ll be a facial knife wound, but even an iron burn on the wrist is good. “Ooh, did it hurt?”… “Nah”.

NODDING AT COPPERS

A moment’s eye contact is all it takes for you to share the unspoken bond. “We’ve not seen eye to eye in the past”, it says, “but someone’s got to keep the kids in line”.

USING POWER TOOLS

Slightly more powerful than you need or can safely handle. And examining the contents of another man’s shed, knowing that your power tools are both bigger and better.

ARRIVING IN A PUB LATE

And everyone cheers you. It doesn’t mean you’re popular, it just means your mates are pissed. However, the rest of the pub doesn’t know that.

NOT WATCHING YOUR WEIGHT

Fat is a feminist issue, apparently.

WINKING

Turns women to putty. Doesn’t it?

TEST SWINGING HAMMERS

Ideally, B&Q would have little changing rooms with mirrors so you could see how rugged you look with any DIY item. Until then, we’ll make do with the aisles.

TAKING OUT £200 FROM A CASHPOINT

Okay, so its for paying the plumber later but with that much cash you feel like a mafia don. The only thing better is peeling notes off the roll later.

HAVING SOMETHING PROPERLY WRONG WITH YOU

Especially if you didn’t make a fuss. “Why was I off? Nothing much, just a brain haemorrhage”

PARALLEL PARKING

Bosh, straight in. First time. Can Schumacher do that? No, because his car’s got no reverse gear which, technically, makes you the worlds best driver.

Look in your agenda. Is there a paintball game with your friends scheduled next week ? Why don’t you look like a PRO then ? From Surefire weapon light you can buy anything from boots to helmets and accessories.

With some great boots, a good camouflage and of course some talent you can leave victorious from that PaintBall game. Remember to be modest, tell everyone at least 3 times you won and make fun of somebody .

It’s what the game is about.

Way to go girls

Dosh | All-Polymer wallet | $49.95AUD / $44ish US

Unique blend of flexible and semi-flexible polymers created a wallet that is durable, stylish, and packed with clever features for modern lifestyles. The patented design consists of purpose designed areas for storage of credit cards, notes, coins, as well as a unique integrated compartment for items including sim cards, keys, condoms and security cards

Aeroportz | Wallet 2.0 | $29.95

Just about the size of your normal leather wallet, it holds as much stuffs as you could put in with our patent pending wallet system: different refill sheets of credit cards, bills, I.D., coins, notes, card holder, memory card, etc.

Cork Wallet | $44.95

Minimal and utilitarian, each wallet is handmade by the designer of cork and all natural fibers…interior is lined with cheerful sky-print fabric and has two slots for credit cards and a slot for bills

the Jimi | $14.95

The Jimi wallet is a compact, water resistant and colorful alternative to that stodgy, old wallet that attracts old receipts and out of date library cards like a paper magne

Do something she likes, and you get points.
Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted.
You don’t get any points for doing something she expects.
Sorry, that’s the way the game is played.
Here is a guide to the points system:

Simple Duties

You make the bed: +1
You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows: -1
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets: -1
You leave the toilet seat up: -5
You replace the toilet paper roll when it is empty: 0
When the toilet paper roll is barren, you resort to Kleenex: -1
When the Kleenex runs out you use the next bathroom: -2
You go out to buy her extra-light panty liners with wings: +5
in the snow: +8
but return with beer: -5
and no liners: -25
You check out a suspicious noise at night: +2
You check out a suspicious noise and it is nothing: 0
You check out a suspicious noise and it is something: +5
You pummel it with a six iron: +10
It’s her cat: -50

At a party

You stay by her side the entire party: 0
You stay by her side for a while then go to chat with a friend from school: -2
Named Tiffany: -4
Tiffany is now a dancer: -10
With breast implants: -18

Her Birthday

You remember her birthday: 0
You buy a card and flowers: 0
You take her out to dinner: 0
You take her out to dinner and it’s not a sports bar: +1
It is a sports bar: -2
And it’s all-you-can-eat night: -3
And your face is painted the colors of your favorite team: -10

A night out with the boys

You go out with a pal: 0
The pal is happily married: +1
The pal is single: -7
He drives a Ferrari: -10
With a personalized license plate (GR8 NBED): -15

A night out with her

You take her to a movie: +2
You take her to a movie she likes: +4
You take her to a movie you hate: +6
You take her to a movie you like: -2
It’s called Death Cop III: -3
Which features Cyborgs that eat humans: -9
You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans: -15

Your physique

You develop a noticeable pot belly: -15
You develop a noticeable pot belly & exercise to get rid of it: +10
You resort to loose jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts: -30
You say, “It doesn’t matter, you have one too.”: -800

The big question

She asks, “Does this dress make me look fat?”
You hesitate in responding: -10
You reply, “Where?”: -35
You reply, “No, I think it’s your ass”: -100
Any other response: -20

Communication

When she wants to talk about a problem:
You listen, displaying a concerned expression: 0
You listen, for over 30 minutes: +5
You relate to her problem and share a similar experience: +50
You’re mind wanders to sports and you suddenly hear her saying “well, what do you think I should do?”: -100
You have fallen asleep: -200

It’s that time of the month

You talk: -100
You don’t talk: -150
You spend time with her: -200
You don’t spend time with her: -500

HAVING A THIN BIT OF WOOD

In the shed, solely to stir paint with. If you don’t have one of these, get one asap. And some paint to stir. The piece of wood must always have paint to about halfway up it from the last time you used it.

KNOWING WHICH SCREWDRIVER IS WHICH

“A Phillips? For that? Are you mad?” And intuitively knowing which way to turn when using a screwdriver, wrench or any other tool.

HAVING EARNED THAT PINT

Since the dawn of time, men have toiled in the fields in blistering heat. Why? So, when it’s over we can stand there in silence, surveying our work with one hand resting on the beer gut while the other nurses a foaming jug of ale. Aaaah.

OPENING JARS

She’s struggling. You take it from her hands, open it effortlessly and pretend she loosened it for you. She didn’t. Jars are men’s work.

CALLING SOMEONE ‘SON’

Especially policemen but even saying it to kids makes you the man. Or “boy”, that works too.

SHARPENING A PENCIL WITH A STANLEY KNIFE

Blunt, is it? Hand it here love. No, I don’t need a sharpener, I’ve got a knife…

GOING TO THE TIP

A manly act which combines driving, lifting and – as you thrillingly drop your rubbish into another huge pile of other rubbish – noisy destruction.

DRINKING UP

Specifically, rising from the table, slinging your coat on and downing two thirds of a pint in one fluid movement. Then nodding towards the door, saying, “Let’s go” and striding out while everyone else struggles to catch up with you. You’re hard.

HAVING A HANGOVER AND THICK STUBBLE

When birds have been partying they just whinge. You on the other hand have physical evidence of your hardness, sprouting from your face. “Big night?” Grr, what does it look like.

HAVING A SCAR

Ideally it’ll be a facial knife wound, but even an iron burn on the wrist is good. “Ooh, did it hurt?”… “Nah”.

NODDING AT COPPERS

A moment’s eye contact is all it takes for you to share the unspoken bond. “We’ve not seen eye to eye in the past”, it says, “but someone’s got to keep the kids in line”.

USING POWER TOOLS

Slightly more powerful than you need or can safely handle. And examining the contents of another man’s shed, knowing that your power tools are both bigger and better.

ARRIVING IN A PUB LATE

And everyone cheers you. It doesn’t mean you’re popular, it just means your mates are pissed. However, the rest of the pub doesn’t know that.

NOT WATCHING YOUR WEIGHT

Fat is a feminist issue, apparently.

WINKING

Turns women to putty. Doesn’t it?

TEST SWINGING HAMMERS

Ideally, B&Q would have little changing rooms with mirrors so you could see how rugged you look with any DIY item. Until then, we’ll make do with the aisles.

TAKING OUT £200 FROM A CASHPOINT

Okay, so its for paying the plumber later but with that much cash you feel like a mafia don. The only thing better is peeling notes off the roll later.

HAVING SOMETHING PROPERLY WRONG WITH YOU

Especially if you didn’t make a fuss. “Why was I off? Nothing much, just a brain haemorrhage”.

PARALLEL PARKING

Bosh, straight in. First time. Can Schumacher do that? No, because his car’s got no reverse gear which, technically, makes you the worlds best driver.

I bet this isn’t what you expected but it’s just great. It may cost a lot of money … but I’m sure it’s worth it.

What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can be President. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell you the truth. The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky. You don’t have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character. Her Wedding dress – $5000. Your Tux rental – $100. People never stare at your chest when you’re talking to them. The occasional well-rendered belch (or fart)is practically expected. New shoes don’t cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all the time.

Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks. A five-day vacation requires only one small suitcase. You can open all your own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.

Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on your face stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to shave your face and neck.

You can play with toys all your life. Your belly usually hides your big hips. One wallet and one color for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can “do” your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache. You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.

No wonder men are happier.

Here are some nice examples I found.