Fastest Talking Woman

Fine

This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

Five Minutes

If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the football before helping around the house.

Go Ahead

This is a dare, not permission. Don’t Do It!

A Loud Sigh

This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer quickly to No 9 for the meaning of nothing.)

That’s Okay

This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That’s okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

Thanks

A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you’re welcome. (I want to add a clause here – This is true, unless she says ‘Thanks a lot’, which is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say ‘you’re welcome’ – that will bring on No. 7).

Whatever

Is a woman’s way of saying, “FUCK YOU!”

Don’t worry about it, I got it

Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking ‘What’s wrong?’ For the woman’s response refer to No. 4.

Nothing

This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in “Fine”.

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Send this link to the men you know, to warn them about arguments they can avoid if they remember the terminology.

Send this link to all the women you know to give them a good laugh, because we know it’s true!

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